| Author | Message | ||
| M. Kathryn Black
Senior Member Username: kathryn Post Number: 2572 Registered: 09-2002 |
Witch Dream Haibun She thinks she can seduce me with aesthetics, then voyeurism, for she splits in two at the waist until she has two heads, two sets of arms with which to hug herself. Disinterested I watch as she kisses herself passionately. She is the best contortionist I have ever seen. Before the final moment, she asks me to leave and I run out the front door shaking with relief, lean against a telephone pole. Later, I go back inside to retrieve some tools I left on her floor, but there are tools everywhere– exotic machinist’s tools I’ve never seen before. A door opens behind me and a man comes out, says to another, “I know I’m ugly, but so what?” He sits beside me and I tell him, “You’re nice looking. What are you talking about?” He smiles. We look under a blanket; the witch is in spasms. Two gnarled oaks entwine root, branch. Ravens gather. (c)2005 | ||
| marty
Advanced Member Username: marty Post Number: 593 Registered: 10-2003 |
Bewitching ..... Captivating in the sense that the haibun form takes a hold of the reader...and keeps his thoughts riveted on the images...almost hallucinatory. How does this work, what is a haibun? Marty | ||
| M
Board Administrator Username: mjm Post Number: 3996 Registered: 11-1998 |
Now why can't I ever dream things like this, Kathryn? In my dreams, I'm mostly getting lost or losing things. Not nearly anything as exciting as witches that can split themselves in two. *sigh* Thanks for sharing your dreams with those of us less fortunate. | ||
| Denis M. Garrison
Advanced Member Username: denismgarrison Post Number: 370 Registered: 01-2005 |
Kathryn, I think we are seeing really a new form, a sort of free verse version of haibun. Fascinating! The haiku-stanza works on its own, which really is necessary even in traditional haibun. Phantasmagorical stuff, Kathryn! Kudos. bw, Denis www.dmgar.com Visit Loch Raven Review at www.lochravenreview.com My books are available at www.lulu.com/denismgarrison | ||
| Emusing
Moderator Username: emusing Post Number: 1308 Registered: 08-2003 |
This is great quality Kathryn. I'm trying to familize myself with this form myself. It's something I could feel comfortable with a short prose piece and an accompanying haiku. Would love your comments on the form. E | ||
| Kathy Paupore
Advanced Member Username: kathy Post Number: 2200 Registered: 12-2003 |
Kathryn, enjoyed. Sounds like a horror movie. Great haiku!  K | ||
| M. Kathryn Black
Senior Member Username: kathryn Post Number: 2574 Registered: 09-2002 |
Marty, I've never read an actual Japanese haibun, only English versions by English speaking poets. My sense of the haibun is that it is a prose poem that is tied together by a haiku at the end. The haiku doesn't necessarily, in my view, have to be a repeat of the prose, but must be an actual haiku--about nature, relating to a season, yet is somehow metaphorical. This is my take on it. Someone more experienced with the form may have some different ideas. Thanks for your comments. M, LOL, you're welcome. I would never guess that you have boring dreams from the content of your poetry. Maybe you pour out your prodigious imagination into words, so your sleep is uninterupted by the weird stuff. Thanks. Denis, Thanks. I'm not too sure what traditional haibun is like so I improvise. I do know the haiku has to stand on its own. When I woke from this dream I had to shake my head. Oh no, not again. At least I got something from it. E, See my comments to Marty. And do try it out. In some ways the hardest part is coming up with a good haiku. Thanks for your comments. Kathy, oh it was! I'd love to dream of beautiful things. Thankyou. My best to everyone, Kathryn | ||
| Laurie Byro
Advanced Member Username: lauriette Post Number: 1106 Registered: 11-2003 |
wow and in a fixed form, I'm impressed I LOVE this with its mystery and voyeurism enjoyed good work, Kat laurie |
